My Yoga Mind

Is this for me after all? Wouldn't it be a lot nicer to do something what you can and you are good at? How can I keep up the practice on my own without an inspiring teacher? When I have pain in my back and feel stiff in my body and mind, who is there to support me then? It would be nice to have Petra, Anne, Wambui or Petri with me where ever I go... Just a smile or small tap, light adjustment or a stretch every now and then...

I fear that I might not be able to carry on with the practice when I am traveling, to find a place for the mat, get up early... Is it all just about laziness? I had several months break from my practice before this retreat and I wouldn't like to face the guilty feelings and hard starts again. Yes I know I shouldn't feel guilty if I am not practicing and I shouldn't rely on teachers, but find the self-reliance instead. And find the patience to listen to my body and slowly progress with my back. Could any of you send me some patience over here, please?

Moment after Moment

It is amazing to have all this time just for me, myself and I. I start my practice about 5.45, then I will go swimming (8 steps from my hut to the sea), take a shower (warm enough water) and have a breakfast (porridge, muesli, yoghurt, pineapple, papaya, water melon, jasmin tea) then I will have an oil massage (with Mr Joy, yes that is really his name) or read a book, relax, chill out, have ice cream... then it's already a lunch time, more chilling out, swimming, snacks, Pranayama (breathing exercise), discussions, dinner (plenty of choices, all pure vegetarian), meditation and getting to sleep between 9 and 11.

And I don't feel guilty about all that, not at all. Well, somebody might say that it is selfish to spend your time like this. But I hope to be at least a little better person to myself and to the others when I have got more understanding about myself, my body and mind. Yoga is about serving the others, giving  others and wishing all beings to be happy and in peace. And now somebody could say that it is easy to think that way when you are in a surrounding like this. Yes, it is, but I hope to have that mindset with me where ever I go, remember the calm moments when everything is just right, even then when I am back to my routines at home and work. But still no, I won't be the Miss Positive smiling all the time, I will still be me...

Now when I am not in a hurry anywhere, it is easier to observe the thoughts and emotions, how they come and go. When Nina left last Saturday I felt sad, both of us cried, it is always difficult to part, leave, stay. Then already on Sunday I felt happy again to be on my own.

Earlier this week I was frustrated with my practice. I am having back pain and I need to do "therapy yoga" as how Petri calls it. Everything seemed to be so complicated and too difficult, I felt almost like giving up. And the rest of the day I was restless. But already the next morning I felt happy, with exactly the same practice. I had somehow accepted how the things are and was happy with that. And I was cheerful also the rest of the day. So you see, nothing is permanent, thoughts and emotions come and go. Just let them go.

This moment was captured by an American Art Photographer Jett Ulaner Sarachek

Island Life

I had been seeking a good spot for my hammock on various Thai islands, been to so many beaches, long and short, sandy and rocky, busy and quiet. Finally I found a perfect place for it on a small Koh Mak island, so small that you can walk to the other side of the island in 15 minutes. The island is star shaped and only 16 square kilometers in size. The sea is turquoise, sand has a golden color and coconut trees are swaying in the wind. And this is my home for these three weeks.

Prior to Koh Mak, Nina and I spent couple of days in Koh Chang. We started to feel that our bodies need something more than just laying on the beach. So Nina set up a boot camp for us. We run on the beach, did sit ups, push ups, burpees, squats... And not only once but every day before we left the island. Hey guys there at Spartan Sport Center (my favorite gym), hire Nina and you will get the toughest cross fit couch ever!

Still our bodies sore after Nina's boot camp we arrived to the Ashtanga Yoga retreat of Petri Räisänen and Wambui Njuguna in Koh Mak. I felt that not only my body but also my mind needs some stretching.

The first morning when I was entering the yoga shala, it was still dark and quiet, just some birds and other tropical animals awake, I smelt the exotic incense, heard the Ujjayi deep breathing of the early bird yogis mixed with the loud ocean voice, and I became emotional. How lucky I am to be here, right now, in this precious moment.

 

True Friendship

It was spring 1989 when I was having a hair cut in a trendy salon in downtown Toronto. I told Vicky, the owner, how hard it is to make friends when you are new in town. Then Vicky introduced me to Nina, a hairdresser in her salon, who had recently moved to Toronto from Northern Ontario, and who plays in a band and knows a bunch of people. So I got to know Nina. We became friends and we have kept the friendship up all these years.

We had a great time together in Toronto, Montreal, Mexico... we both got cheated by our flat mates... we had future dreams and hopes... Later, Nina moved back to Northern Ontario, I moved back to Finland. She got married, had a baby, I finished my studies and got married too. She had a busy family life and her own business, I was busy building a career and changing jobs. But we kept in contact, not that often but still.

I had a business trip to Canada in 2002. So we finally met after 13 years. And finally I was able to meet Little Seija, Nina's daughter, 5 years old at the time. I am so proud to have someone like her to be named after me. Today she is a beautiful, talented, artistic and sporty young lady.

In 2007 I met Nina and her husband in Paris, 2009 she and I travelled together in India and 2010 we were in Turkey. And now she is with me in Thailand for these upcoming two weeks. She just arrived three days ago but it feels like if we had traveled weeks together already. I am excited, or "pumped" as Nina would say, to do things together with her again. On a second day she cut my hair very short and colored it bright copper red. So I am a red head now!

We have had fun exploring Bangkok; we took boat taxis, moto taxis, sky train, walked in a park, in small alleys, night markets, visited a luxury sky bar (and were surprised that we got in wearing our sandals), ate green curry, pad thai, coconut ice cream, mango and sticky rice, had local beer, shopped and chatted. One day we had a Buddhist monk, who I had met before in a meditation retreat, as our  guide in a temple, Wat Pho. We discussed the mysteries of life, religions, philosophy, everyday matters and this crazy world. We felt privileged to have this opportunity to spend time with him.

Now we are on the way to Koh Chang; the beach is calling!


Here we are!

Having a cup of tea with Phra Dipayan



Reclining Buddha at Wat Pho

Bangkok by night

Papa Roger - The Man

He looks like a mixture of Santa Claus and Tom Jones, and he certainly has some comedian in him - or mainly lots of it, as the comedy actor was his profession before he became a bar keeper in Koh  Samet in 1989. His bar is like a cozy living room and at busy nights it extends outside to the pavement and even to the road.

He shows me an article from a Finnish newspaper; men shoveling masses of snow in Helsinki. That is his reason why he is "here" rather than "there". Not only entertaining his customers, he is also well-known as a good hearted man who cares about those people who are not so lucky as we are. One of those people is Tee, a disabled young man, whom Roger takes out once a week to see the outside world, as what his own family unfortunately never does.

"Happy hour, free ice in every drink!" Papa Roger calls people passing by. Keep on rocking, Roger!

"Welcooommme to my beauuutifuul bar"

Tee and me